Ode to the 2011 Red Sox: Collapse of the Bridge (Year)


A winter of hope!  Free agents were signed

The newspapers read, “Best Team Ever!”

Add Gonzo and Crawford, Wheeler and Jenks

Could the Red Sox be beat this year? Never!

To the World Series we were sure to head

It was all done except for the playing

Our hopes were as high as the Red Sox payroll

Next time we’ll know better, I’m just saying.

At spring training the players finally gathered

Familiar faces and some that were odd

When the owners stepped into the clubhouse

All of the players stood to applaud.

In April the Sox opened in Arlington, Texas

But those Rangers took some gleam away

The 0 and 6 start was just a fluke

They just needed to get back to Fenway.

Opening day in the old Boston town

Is as festive as a holiday letter

A fan held a sign that read, “156 and 6”

We knew it would only get better.

The rainiest season in MLB history

Rain delays throughout the whole year

Don’t cancel the game, the owners demanded

More time for the fans to buy beer.

For Dustin Pedroia we worried and hoped

Could the pin in his foot take a lickin’

Yet even when hurting he found a way

To be our “Muddy Chicken”.

Pedey, you make us laugh, you give us hope

You play so hard every day

Your home in this city is here in our hearts

 From Boston you must never stray.

Who doubted Jacoby? Do you still say he’s soft?

Last year’s fractured ribs made you a naysayer

With speed and great power, an inside-the-parker

No question, our Most Valuable Player.

At the start of the year when the team let us down

 Jed Lowrie answered the call

Until Crawford smashed into Jed’s shoulder

Jed was hitting the cover off the ball.

Carl Crawford came to collect a big check

To steal a few bases for us all

The problem, you see, as he buckled his knees

Is he can’t steal a base if he can’t hit the ball.

Carl, you said you were sorry to Red Sox Nation

For your first year as sour as a lime

Some words of wisdom, man, get your head straight

In this city, seven years is a long time.

Gonzo, for half the year you sure did impress

But our hearts crumbled and finally broke

When the curse of the damn Home Run Derby

Took away your opposite field stroke.

J.D. (With) Drew, where did you go?

We needed you in right field

You stopped by in September but too little, too late

From your job you were too happy to yield.

Welcome to “The Show”, Josh Reddick

Up from Pawtucket you did climb

You did your best and opened some eyes

You worked hard and now it’s your time.

Marco Scutaro, our shortstop solution

You seem to come through in the clutch

You always play hard and do your best

And for that we thank you so much.

We love to call your name out, “Youk!”

You are like the guy next door

But moving back to play third base

Tore you up and made you sore.

Big Papi came back and had a great year

Of that we cannot deny

But was he playing for the good of the team

When he complained about a lost RBI?

The catcher we call, “Salty”

Some feared he would be a leper

But under Varitek’s tutelage

Salty was as hot as a pepper.

Beckett bounced back from a terrible year

At times he looked like our ace

But then we learned of the beer and fried chicken

And he ended the year in disgrace.

 Lester promised to pitch 200 innings

But complained when the strike zone was small

His frustration grew and could not be hidden

Jon, you need to relax when you don’t get the call.

Tim Wakefield reached one of his goals

But his 200 wins could have been 210

If only the batters could have scored more runs and

A little help would have been nice from the bullpen.

Clay Buchholtz’s season barely began

When stress fractures laid him down to the mat

Get well and come back next year in good shape

Without you, Clay, the rotation is flat.

Lackey, our hearts broke when you said your life sucks

Such problems touch all, poor or richer

But perhaps the biggest problem you have to face

Is that you really suck as a pitcher.

The bullpen had its ups and downs

Aceves was this year’s surprise

Albers was great for half the year

Bard and Papelbon had lows and highs.

You’ve earned your big time contract, Pap

And soon you can pay the rent

Whatever the Sox have to pay to keep you

You deserve every single last cent.

The Rays snuck into the wild card race

Swinging bats as sweet as honey

“Dear Carl”, the Rays said, after they put the Sox to bed

“We don’t miss you.  Have fun with your money.”

420 million spent for these free agents in one year:

Crawford, Wheeler, Drew, and Lackey,

 Jenks, Cameron, and Matsuzaka.

Picking up your checks, don’t you feel a bit tacky?

Theo wasted John Henry’s money

On free agents we cannot abide

The rumors are true that you’re off to the Cubs

John Henry will give you a ride.

A sad ending for Terry Francona

He took the hit for the team

For his boys he always covered

Why did they act so mean?

What happened in September

To our World Series-bound Red Sox?

Some lost their heart and proved to be

A bunch of dumb-ass jocks.

A September collapse of epic proportions

Some players took an early vacation

Their chemistry problems and bad behavior

Brought heartbreak to Red Sox Nation.

A  long winter before us, what will we do?

October to March with no Sox in sight

Go Patriots! Go Bruins! Get back to work, Celtics!

We need teams that can put up a fight.


About Colleen

I'm a quilter and a fan of the Boston Red Sox. There's no relation between the two ... Just two things that I love! Follow me on Pinterest and Twitter @QuiltedBaseball
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